Now there is a moderately acceptable Solution (If you want to call it that)
This is a known issue in Autodesk® Architectural Desktop. The first instance of the xref determines how the cleanups will be resolved. This cleanup resolution is then applied to all placed instances of the xref.
As a workaround, you can reference the file into the drawing multiple times, providing a unique name for each instance of the xref. Follow these steps:
1) Insert the xref into the drawing.
2) In the Xref Manager, select the xref that you just placed, and then change its name.
3) Repeat this process for each of the xref files that you want to include in your drawing
he he he: he he -He said "CAD"...(say that in Buttheads voice for full effect)