Friday, April 01, 2011

The Future Is Finally the Present!!! Make Families (NOT the Revit ones either) Faster & More Efficiently!!! Genetically Engineer Your Next Child!!!

Need Genetic Engineering to keep from having that in-bread look to your family??? Check out this new application coming out (...) from ADSK!!! Click the image for their download link and get procreating!!!

I cannot vouch for any tool being in this final production suite, but since I was on the beta team I know that there was even a Lesbian & Gay plugin, allowing those communities to implement a streamlined workflow and process management systems for child procurement as well as Gay/Straight child rearing, etc...

You have to see the Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie plugin coming soon too!!!

My kids say "This is the best application since Angry Birds and we hate that our parents didn't use it on us!!!"

New Autodesk Suites Deliver Digital Prototyping for Unbeatable Design Innovation and Quality

Autodesk Procreation Design Suite is a new, comprehensive, and cost-effective design solution for creating compelling children. Containing Autodesk’s leading design, visualization, and simulation software for consumers, the new suite provides flexibility to innovate and more easily respond to changing family requirements from early concepts to detailed engineering and simulation. Autodesk Procreation Design Suite also provides significant cost savings and is easier to deploy, maintain, and manage than stand-alone products.*
Autodesk offers three editions of the Procreation Design Suite:
  • Procreation Design Suite Standard -- Foundational design tools for conceptual design, intuitive 3D body and skeletal modeling, drafting, and presentations, featuring Autodesk Love Maker with Inventor Fusion, Autodesk Showcase, Autodesk SketchBook Designer, Autodesk Vault, and Autodesk Mudbox software.
  • Procreation Design Suite Premium -- Optimized Digital Prototyping and visualization tools for maximum performance that features Standard edition tools along with Autodesk Inventor and Autodesk 3ds Max Design software.
  • Procreation Design Suite Ultimate -- Advanced surfacing, simulation, and tooling for unbeatable design quality, featuring the same tools as the Premium edition along with Autodesk Inventor Professional, Autodesk Alias Design software, and more (see below).
"Combining our Autodesk Inventor Professional products with the software powering Hollywood-quality imagery, movies and interactive presentations enables us to create visually impressive and dynamic engineering solutions for prospective parents," said Irene Cassini, manager of Gattaca Aerospace Corporation. "With the new Autodesk Procreation Design Suite, we can create, validate, and communicate our digital designs with even greater confidence and shortened gestation time."
Procreation Design Suite Ultimate includes applications and an offering not available in the other packages.
  • Autodesk Love Maker 2012 Plus - The world class Love Maker application paired with a "Gene Quality Selection Interface." Using this patented interface, users can select the desired characters and load them into the HPC-C (High Performance Conception Controller). The HPC-C prevents Conception when the genetic characters are missing and ensures conception when the genetic characters are present.
  • Autodesk Parent Maker 2012 - World class tool aiding highly compatible couples brought together using Love Maker Plus to make the changes required for becoming parents. Parent Maker removes all desires for sleep and adult conversation, and installs unbelievable amounts of affection for a small 6-10 lbs. person that can't even see straight. Parent Maker also enhances "Mothers Intuition" and "Fathers Responsibility" by 10x, altering once selfish single people into adoring parents.
  • Autodesk Gray Hair Restoration 2012 - When parents feel the gray hair setting in, the Gray Hair Restoration tool provides instant babysitter service and brightly colored movements to supervise and entertain "the little ones." This is often a good time to start up Love Maker again.
  • Act Now and receive a copy of Becoming your Father/Mother Warning System 2012. This is a small implant into the ear that sounds an alarm when phrase like "I will give you something to cry about." or "Do what I say not what I do" are said.
Happy 4/1/2011!!!

1 comment:

  1. Laughing hysterically! I didn't see it until today, but as a parent of small children this was the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Thanks for the laugh!